— by appointment of the burrow —
gamelicensor.pro
descend —
the door is moss-curtained, mind your shoulders
leave your boots — the floor is loamy
CHAMBER II
The Reading‑Stump
I am Wibbur Caulk-Heel, third-generation burrow-clerk to the East-Beech Combine, licensed (since 1612) to broker the rights of any made thing that flickers, sings, or pretends.
I work by candle-light. I keep two ledgers: a public one, in this chamber, and a private one I do not show. My fee is reasonable. My memory is long.
I prefer chanterelles to morels and will not be persuaded otherwise. I sign nothing on a Tuesday. I distrust paperwork that does not smell of moss.
When you come to me with a sprite, a tune, a dragon‑tail, or a key — I will hold it up to the lantern, sniff it, and tell you what it is worth in pickled mushroom and brass-coin.
The clerk is well‑read. The clerk is patient. The clerk has not lost a contract since the wet spring of 1847.
the beetle agrees
CHAMBER III
The Spice‑Rack of Categories
Twenty-four jars on six warped shelves. Each holds a curl of parchment. Lift one to read what the clerk will broker.
do not unstopper without permission
CHAMBER IV
The Ledger‑Spread
On the matter of licensing, the burrow keeps three rules. The first is that nothing is licensed in haste. A petitioner arrives, the clerk receives, and the parchment is examined under a lantern of measured warmth.
The second rule: every license bears a smell. Mushroom-spore for music; pickled fern for sprite-likenesses; wet copper for boss-themes. If the petitioner cannot identify the smell of their own work, the clerk will provide a sample — gratis — from the third drawer.
The third rule is unwritten, but the beetle knows it.
see also chamber V
Fees are paid in offerings: a small jar of preserved fig, a pressed flower, a brass coin from any reign, or (in lieu) a hand-written promise notarized by the moonlight on a Wednesday. The clerk does not accept paper currency.
Procedurally, the burrow records each license in two motions. First, the petitioner signs in ink-of-oak-gall, which the clerk supplies in a cracked porcelain cup. Second, the clerk affixes the goblin's seal — a small thumbprint, dipped in iron-red — at the lower-right of the parchment.
this rate is negotiable
The seal is final, save in three named cases: (i) the contract was signed under duress of weather; (ii) the parchment was inadvertently chewed by a beetle; (iii) the petitioner has, since signing, become a friend.
Any of the three permits cancellation. The clerk reserves the right, at all times, to forgive a license outright — a courtesy historically extended to itinerant minstrels, lost children, and mushrooms.
For numerals, see the trade-bench tabulation, chamber VI. For all other matters, leave a note in the whistle‑tube.
a small mushroom would also be acceptable
CHAMBER V
The Dewdrop Lookbook
Six matters the clerk has brokered. Tap a dewdrop — it bursts, then unfolds.
A page from the burrow's lookbook
—
witnessed by the burrow
do not press the dewdrops too firmly
CHAMBER VI
The Trade‑Bench
— Articles of Brokerage —
Be it known — on this day, sealed under candle-light in the under-burrow of the East-Beech Combine — that the rights described herein are licensed in good faith, for an offering deemed fair by both parties and witnessed by the proprietor's beetle.
The licensee may, for the duration of the offering's freshness, use the named likeness on parchment, glass, woven cloth, or any honest surface; save and except metal arms, sharpened blades, or the hides of living creatures. The licensor reserves the right to forgive the license at any moment, particularly if the licensee should bring a small mushroom on the next visit.
All offerings are recorded in the ledger, chamber IV, in ink-of-oak-gall and double-counted by the clerk on the abacus inherited (1612) from a great-aunt. No offering is too small; no offering is refused without an explanation in writing.
a fair offering, witnessed by the burrow
no stamps on Tuesdays
CHAMBER VII
The Whistle‑Tube Reply
Speak softly into the brass. The clerk will reply by candle-light.