COSMIC CATTLE INCOMING COSMIC CATTLE INCOMING
Hey -- you made it. Pull up a chair. Right now, somewhere past Andromeda, the herd is drifting again. We've been watching it since the last signal. The League has tracked 4,918 head of cosmic cattle across seven star systems, and not a single one has filed a flight plan. Typical.
THE DRIFT IS REAL. THE DRIFT IS REAL.
The telemetry doesn't lie. Every 14.3 hours, the leading edge of the herd shifts 0.07 parsecs to the galactic south-southwest. We call it "the drift." Nobody knows why. We've been charting it since the League's founding signal in 1973 -- each data point you see above is a head of cattle, not a number. They ARE the data. They always have been.
The drift has been consistent. Reassuringly consistent. The kind of consistent that makes you wonder if something out there is doing the drifting on purpose.
Caught the drift yet? Good. Keep watching.
LAST CONTACT: 04:18 GMT. LAST CONTACT: 04:18 GMT.
Four-eighteen Greenwich Mean. That's when the last ping came in from the outrider. One quick burst of telemetry, then silence. The coordinates are confirmed: they're moving toward the Lagoon Nebula, and the lead bull is approximately 4.91 kilolightyears out. We've named him Gerald.
Gerald doesn't know he's a data point. None of them do. That's what makes this beautiful.
WE LISTEN. YOU LISTEN BACK. WE LISTEN. YOU LISTEN BACK.
Leave a marker. That's all we ask. One signal so the League knows you're out there, listening. The herd can't hear you, but we can. Tap in your coordinates and we'll add you to the watch-log -- every soul who's tuned in while the cattle drifted past.
OVER. AND OUT. OVER. AND OUT.
That's the broadcast for tonight. Gerald and the herd are 4.91 kilolightyears out, still drifting southwest, heading toward something bright. The League will keep watching. We always do. Tune back tomorrow -- same frequency, same friendly operator on the night shift.
The League has been watching since 1973. We haven't missed a drift yet.