Est. 1847 — Chartered Accountants of Organic Entropy
Tracking fungal growth indices across all corporate substrates since 1847.
Double-entry bookkeeping for the irreversible passage of all organized matter.
Speculative investments in bryophyte coverage and territorial lichen expansion.
Founded by Aldous Bracket in a converted mushroom cellar beneath the Royal Exchange.
First observation of self-updating ledgers. The ink was later classified as bioluminescent.
The Fern Incursion: Entire west wing reclaimed by pteridophytes. Productivity increased 340%.
Moth Census initiated. 14,000 species catalogued within the filing system alone.
Digital transition attempted. The servers grew shelf fungi within 72 hours. Analog methods reinstated.
Present day. The institution persists. The ledgers update. The moss advances. Business is rational.
Quarterly Metrics — Fiscal Cycle 2026
To all personnel, past and present, corporeal and otherwise:
The quarterly audit is complete. Revenue continues to accrue in units we no longer recognize. The filing cabinets have begun to hum at frequencies consistent with contentment. We advise against opening Drawer 7-J before the spring equinox.
The moss is not a problem. The moss has never been a problem. The moss is the most productive member of staff.
— The Management, rational.business